by Tiffany Bisconer

Suhaila had just finished with

teaching for five hours and giving a Certification Test on the last day of one of our out-of-town 3-Day Workshops.  As usual, we had a little less than an hour to freshen up before the evening show where Suhaila was the featured dancer.  When we arrived at the hotel for our rapid change Suhaila was exhausted.  Not physically, since in that way she has a seemingly bottomless pit of endurance, but fatigued from having spent the last three days sharing her heart, her passion and her vision with the supportive and intriguing women in her workshop. Because her work, her dance, her passion and her life are all of the same heartbeat, her compassion for the women in her workshops and in her dance life comes from a very personal place.  So as I was doing my juggling act around the hotel room to prepare for the evening that lay ahead of us, I felt huge admiration for her ability to be so limitless with her giving.  Not only was she still standing, but she was motivated to rush and get ready for the show so she wouldn’t miss any of the dancers who were performing in the show before her.  For her, enjoying and showing her respect for the other dancers is extremely important.  This token of support is very consistent with Suhaila’s personality.  Not only does she have the ability to be all-giving as a teacher and a mentor, but she has the ability to switch gears in an instant and be all-giving as a performer as well.  Though this has become routine over the years of touring, teaching and performing, I respect her deeply for how she owns, adopts and takes to heart her role in the dance community as a teacher, mentor and an inspiration to so many women.  The way she sees the importance of her role doesn’t stop in the classroom; in her belief, that is where it begins.

A mentor’s role by nature is selfless.  Suhaila stands with open arms and a heart full of offering and she wouldn’t have it any other way.  She feels an instinctual responsibility for the creative well-being and growth of every woman that enters her artistic realm.  She has an honest personal interest in seeing them succeed.  Even after teaching for 3 decades, her interest and desire to work hands-on with her students only increases.   Even though I have many other reasons as well, I look up to her immensely for her display of dedication as well as her interest in her students and her art form.   Somehow, she is able to maintain the grounded and personable side of herself while still reaching for universal goals that place her in a category as a visionary genius!  Just as any leader at the forefront of the progression of humanity, Suhaila has taken on the responsibility of opening doors for us all to walk through.  Looking back through history, every political/racial/humanitarian barrier that has been broken, has been broken with a vision in mind and has been successful through the fight of those who believed in that vision.  Without a visionary, the path to follow won’t be revealed, and without supporters, the walls of resistance won’t fall.  These two sides of any cause are necessary in order to effect change.  For Suhaila, the stepping-stones continue to be created year after year as she visualizes, formulates, and motivates people towards a vision of higher ground within dance as well as within the possibilities of personal growth.  She opens eyes to the options in life and then we fight, laugh and cry together towards the same goals.    

When I first met Suhaila I had no idea that I was signing up for a revolution!  Once I realized the magnitude of her vision I saw this lifetime path develop in front of me.

I feel extremely lucky to be working so close to her and I do my best to show my gratitude everyday.  In the years that I’ve been learning from Suhaila I’ve felt that more light has been shed on paths I never would’ve seen if I had been embarking on my artistic growth alone.  Until I crossed paths with Suhaila, I felt solely responsible for paving my own path in life. It never even occurred to me that I might cross paths with a mentor that would take me with my desire for guidance and growth and place me under her wing.  The learning experience I have gone through over the past years has been a huge.  It is amazing how much one person can affect your life; sometimes that’s all it takes to direct your passions into a positive direction.  I can definitely say that if I were still mapping out all of my dreams alone, I wouldn’t be nearly as close to being fulfilled as I am today…….and I have the rest of my life to continue to grow.

Over the past year I started to notice that I was having to explain my role as a student more and more.  I remember the first time it happened.   I had just gotten done with a performance and after a quick-change comedy routine in the dressing room I was standing at our Suhaila Productions Booth.  I was excited to share my passion for Suhaila’s format, vision, heritage and school of dance.  A woman came by to compliment my dancing.  I thanked her for her gesture and then she continued to say, “So, it looks like you are ready to go out on your own now, huh?!”  I looked back at her kind of confused, slightly offended and then realized that she was looking at my reality in a completely different light than how I see the path in front of me.  Rather dubiously I responded by saying, “Why would I do that?”  After looking at me like I was insane she retorted by saying, “Uh, because you’re good.”  Worried that she would think I was milking a compliment, I ended our conversation pleasantly and mulled over the interaction.  I was puzzled by why she would think I should isolate myself as a soloist since she thought I was “good.”   Before this interaction I had taken it for granted that a student should be dedicated, loyal, supportive and as forthcoming with commitment as possible with a teacher they believed in.  A huge part of this is definitely because of the mentor I have, and another part is because of my belief that you should give back to the people that sacrifice and offer themselves for your growth.  I didn’t realize that the gesture of giving back to a teacher was unusual until I saw that my display of commitment was confusing to people.  I feel deeply honored to be able to participate in the vision that Suhaila has opened my eyes to, but then I start hearing that people are confused about why I haven’t left her yet.  It is almost as if the testimony of me being ready to go out on my own is the ultimate goal, which in my opinion, would be a mark of failure and a personal disappointment in terms of the expansion of a much bigger life picture.  This is not to say that individuality doesn’t play a huge role in a person’s life choices or their expression, but a true mentor brings out their student’s own light and lets that student’s personal glow lead the way on the path that has been created together with the mentor’s guidance.  I believe that a mentor is not a crutch, but an aid and a gift for expanding on your own potential.

My ultimate goal as a dancer lies far beyond the limitations of being a soloist…..that is just one piece of a huge picture.  Besides, why would I want to leave the mentor that has given me the guidance, tools and support that has made me “good,” especially when I have so much more potential to develop.

I feel that the role between a student and a mentor is oftentimes misunderstood or merely undeveloped.  I remember sitting in a dance ethnology course in college and watching a film on Classical Indian Dance.  A portion of the film was narrated from a student’s perspective on their teacher, and it was the first time I felt that someone explained these dynamics in depth.  The student was speaking words that I felt resonated in my own personal experience.   Suddenly so much made sense with the way I was compelled to lead my life.  The documentary was made so beautifully and multi-dimensionally.   The student explained that she was the honored recipient of her teacher’s knowledge and for that she would lead her life in service and gratitude back to her teacher.  The teacher had chosen students to fill the inner circle of his life and there were many waiting for their chance to give back.  The student speaking in the film lived with her mentor and gave her body as an instrument for her teacher’s practical needs in return for the gift of knowledge.  She would follow the words of guidance from her mentor as if they were gold because the enlightenment she received was beyond comparison.  I was comforted by seeing this because it reminded me that in many cultures outside of western civilization there is a deep-rooted understanding and appreciation for the role of a teacher, an elder, and a mentor that isn’t fully supported by our country’s individualistic train of thought. 

The role of a mentor is one of the highest placements in life one can achieve.  To have such a grand effect on lives in an academic, spiritual, emotional and/or physical way, to pass on knowledge and ignite the life force of others is an amazing ability that few people are able to embody and develop.  Like Suhaila, those that take their position at the top of their existence as a mentor, lead a life full of personal sacrifice without expectation of return and are the role models for those that follow in their paths.           

Even if I spent a lifetime by Suhaila’s side I would never be able to give back the gifts that have been given to me by her freely.  As a mentor she has given me the gift of new eyes on my life, my dance, my creativity and my spirituality.  Her impact on my life as a whole is incredibly hard to articulate because it is so all encompassing.  I am deeply grateful and most times I’m still shocked at how forthcoming she is with her compassion and inclusion of others in her path.  Not only is she changing the face of dance, but she is encouraging a huge community of women to stand next to her and find their own potential and voice within this dance form.  For that I give her my homage and only wish there were more hours within a day to express my gratitude.  Nothing I could ever give back could equate to the lessons I’ve learned from Suhaila…..but I will continue to do my best and try……. I know in my heart that my growth, artistic success and strength are one of the biggest offerings I can give back to her, and in my lifetime I hope that I can make her proud of the gifts she has bestowed upon me. 

Suhaila and me