Yesterday a woman whom I haven’t seen in class for a very long time came back to class. I was leaving the studio to pick up my daughter and I saw her back at the desk. As I got closer to the desk I was so happy to see her turn around and smile. I gave her a big hug and told her how happy I was to see her. “We have missed you” I said with my arms still around her. I didn’t want to ask were she had been since her eyes began to well up with water. She then told me that she had been waiting so long to come back and that the thought of class and being able to dance again were the only thing that was keeping her going. My eyebrows lifted as I asked if she was okay.. “Yeah…. I’m going to be okay, but I might break out into laughter or tears at anytime”. No problem I said, as long as she was in her studio and felt loved and safe. She then briefly told me of the divorce, change in career, and health issues she has had and only dreaming of the dance to keep her positive and chin up.

We will call her Sally for this editorial (out of respect of her privacy). Sally came into my studio over one year ago. She stood weakly, hiding in the back of the studio, wearing loose clothing to cover her body, and tying not be noticed. Sally is an older woman with three kids and the only time she would do anything for herself was when she came to my classes. She had never danced before in her life and it had always been her dream. In class I noticed her because she worked hard and didn’t want the easy way out. Usually those are the types of students that stay in my school; they are attracted to my format.

After weeks of her being in class I asked her why she always hid her body. I always like to see my student’s bodies so I can help them with posture and with her clothing it made it very difficult. She looked at me with amazement and said “you don’t want to see me”. I grabbed her by the shoulders and said “Oh yes I do, now the next time I see you in dance class I want to see you in dance clothes”. I was worried I would lever see her again, but she came back…. This time with jazz pants and a long sleeve t-shirt. Now this was fine for awhile until the hot weather set in. Then I realized that she was taking two classes per week and still had not become a member of the school to receive the discounted rates. Sally was struggling with my format, but enjoying the challenge. She was even attending the dance movement classes and making sure to have well rounded training (which is what I preach in my school anyway). Her body was getting stronger and she was loosing weight and feeling good about herself again which she confessed that she hadn’t felt since before having kids. I approached her about becoming a member of the school and she became totally withdrawn. Sally explained to me that if she became a member that she would receive the free tank top that we give out and that she just couldn’t take the pressure of having to wear it and show her arms. She felt over weight and embarrassed of her body and arms. I flung a tank top at her and told her that she didn’t have to join the school, but I wanted her in a tank top. I usually wouldn’t be so pushy, but I felt that she wanted to come out of her shell and maybe needed a push. She looked at me and asked if it was okay to show her arms. I held her face and told her that she was beautiful and that she needed to show her arms so she can become free from her own mind. The next class she came with tank top and all…..a big smile….. Sally looked beautiful.

At each class after that I saw Sally in a new tank top and tight cloths showing off her secure and stronger body. She was also starting to wear bright colors too. I would make a point to notice her and how hard and how far she had come. It is women like Sally that give me the most joy teaching. I would always thank her for choosing me and the studio to spend her time that isn’t with her family. I know how hard it is to juggle a family and I let my other mothers in class know how I appreciate their effort in coming to class. To find time for yourself and then take the time is really hard once you become a parent. Something happens and your brain tells you that should feel guilty to take time out for yourself. It is a daily battle to maintain a personal sense of self.

When asked I always tell people that they walk through my studio door thinking that they want to take a belly dance class, but really they want to change their life. I was so happy to see Sally yesterday. I’m not sure who feels more a sense of healing…. Sally or me. I think I need her just as much as she needs me. That is what my format is all about, to strive and not let your mind tell you that you can’t do anything. Push through the limits and don’t just settle for easy. You are worth it and deserve the truth. My format is for every age, body type, and level…. You just have to want to improve…. That is the hard part.

So for all the Sally’s out there…. I thank you for giving me your day, hour, and heart to heal through the dance. It is through your growth that I keep going in my dream to create a studio that is a community and not just a pretty face.